


Tiny Cities

by NiciJones



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Adultery, Arguments, Food, Forbidden Love, M/M, Pining, Press Tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-06-02 10:16:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19439410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiciJones/pseuds/NiciJones
Summary: “Promise me something,” Armie says and Timmy nods eagerly. Anything. Everything. “Promise you won’t fall in love with me.”or, 6 times Armie and Timmy meet in 5 different cities





	1. Crema

**Author's Note:**

> Am I having trouble writing the final chapter? Yes absolutely. Am I posting this out of desperation? Yes absolutely. Do I have any excuses? No, absolutely not. 
> 
> The title refers to "Tiny Cities" by Flume. Enjoy!

Crema is where everything begins, as all things should. It’s where the two of them - differences and similarities and all - collide and break and then mend with pieces entwined. It’s where they’re raw without becoming sore.

While they say that their friendship happened naturally and was a genuine connection it isn’t like Timmy had never missed home or wasn't a little overwhelmed by the responsibilities put on his shoulders. But he could talk about that with Armie. 

It’s their fourth or fifth night in Crema, they aren’t sure, they don’t count the days. They’re sprawled in Armie’s apartment after a rich dinner at Speranza’s - Armie had yet to discover the Trattoria Via Vai as his favourite. 

“Do you miss LA?” Timmy asks suddenly into their comfortable silence.  
Armie perks up from the carpet. (“Let me just lie down here for a second, Timmy. I’m afraid the couch will collapse under my weight.” - “Dude, that’s why you don’t order dessert at Speranza’s; their plates are huge.” Armie had snorted at that like he had suggested committing a felony.)  
“Me?” He asks like there was anyone else Timmy could ask.  
“Yes.”  
“Nah.” He answers and then lets his head sink back down closing his eyes again while the rain drums against the window pane. Thankfully the walk is short from the restaurant to Armie’s place and they liked to run, taking the way through the smaller street half chasing each other, half escaping the rain. 

“Do you?” Armie adds like it’s an afterthought.  
Timmy shrugs before he remembers Armie can’t see him with his eyes closed. “I don’t know.” They fall silent again. In the beginning, they couldn’t stop chatting possibly trying to erase all traces of awkwardness that lingered because of the certain knowledge what they are going to have to do to each other. 

“I guess- not in the sense that I want to go there but-” Timmy stops unsure whether whatever he’s going to say is going to sound stupid.   
“But?” Armie prompts from the floor.  
“But I know I’m going to go back and I’m scared it’s not going to be the same.” Timmy frowns unsatisfied with his answer. The words are disobeying him. “No, that’s not it. It’s more like- I don’t want to leave this world behind? I don’t want to have to choose. Even if I can’t really choose because I can’t just stay-” He lets out a frustrated sound.

Armie blinks his eyes open and looks at him with a contemplating gaze before he gets up to sit on the couch with Timmy. “For now you don’t have to choose.” He tells him.  
“That doesn’t mean the prospect doesn’t scare me.” Timmy answers quietly and draws his knees up to his chest fearing the “you’re too young to say things like this”-talk. 

But it doesn’t happen. Timmy doesn’t know yet that this is what you should come to expect with Armie until you know him like Timmy does, when you’re a part of him and his mind.   
Instead, Armie draws him in holds him carefully and it soothes Timmy instantly. Armie is right. There’s no need to fear it yet when it had barely even started. 

They had hugged before, in fact, it was one of the first things they had done. But this is different because Timmy has time, time to note that indeed Armie is huge, he’s not used to being wrapped up so completely and Armie is burning hot like a furnace even in the only vaguely mild May night. It’s good. It feels like warmth, like safety. 

Armie rubs his back, his arm, his shoulders, the back of his neck, ruffles his hair. Later Timmy would learn that it was a technique he learned to help deal with panic attacks. He had wanted to be prepared should his children ever have one and not leave them with a, “ _Get over it._ ”   
Right now, Timmy only knew that it’s making him feel good. He uncurls slightly more sprawling across Armie now. 

“You think we can do this?” He asks.  
“What?” Armie isn’t yet able to keep up with the jumps in Timmy’s thoughts but that, too, would come with time.  
“You know. Elio and Oliver. Who they are and what they felt for each other.” Timmy explains and wiggles until he’s on his back resting against Armie’s stomach so that he can touch more of him, make him feel even better. His hands come to rest on Armie’s thighs and he’s still wearing shorts despite the drop of temperature during the night.

Armie doesn’t answer but he also doesn’t stop touching him, so Timmy doesn’t complain. Instead, he watches those huge hands stroke up his arms, over his shoulders down to his stomach. He shudders involuntarily thinking about what it would feel like without his shirt, without a barrier between them.

Armie’s hands wander back up, pulling Timmy’s shirt slightly up with them.   
Outside the rain continues to fall and the sound of it is the only other sound aside from their combined breathing. The touch had turned exploring now rather than soothing and Timmy hopes that Armie doesn’t notice the goosebumps on his arms. If he did, he never said anything about it. 

Timmy doesn’t want to let his eyes flutter closed but it happened nonetheless when he feels Armie’s fingertips on his bare arms and his breath hitches slightly. He lets out a soft noise when one hand leaves his arm and lands on his bare stomach. Instead, his hands fist into Armie’s shorts.

Despite Armie’s whole body radiating warmth his fingertips are slightly cool when they touch Timmy’s warm tummy. Timmy isn’t really sporting a happy trail or anything alike and if he wouldn’t be so lost in the sensations he might’ve worried that it would remind Armie of his youth and ultimately drive him away. But he can’t bring himself to think anything besides _holy shit this feels awesome, I hope it never stops and this isn’t enough, please tell me you’re not going to stop at this because I think it would kill me if you do._

After carefully exploring the skin at his expanse, his finger having dipped into his belly button, he splays his hand out fully and Timmy loses control, arches into the touch, makes another noise. 

For a second he fears that it would end this that they would have to address this now as something that they don’t do, can’t do. 

But Armie doesn’t say anything he just lets his other hand join the first and it’s only then that Timmy notices that his breathing is just as out of control as Timmy’s. He blinks his eyes open and looks up at Armie whose gaze is transfixed on his own tanned hands on Timmy’s pale skin. He reaches up and clasps his hand around Armie’s bicep wants to feel the origin of his movements as well.

Timmy’s skin is on fire by now, nothing reminds him of the cool fingertips anymore. Armie is lighting him up and he can feel himself growing hard and wonders whether Armie would mind. If he would even notice. If he would help him out.

It’s Armie who ends it. Timmy is sure he wouldn’t have been able to. He pulls him up so they are properly chest to back and holds him there, both arms wrapped around him. They rise and fall rapidly with Timmy’s breathing. For awhile they just breathe together trying to calm down from the high but then Armie opens his mouth.

“Promise me something.” He says and Timmy nods eagerly. Anything. Everything.  
“Promise you won’t fall in love with me.”  
Timmy freezes for a moment and maybe that should’ve been their giveaway, maybe they shouldn’t have gone on pretending from this first moment. Because of the pause, the freeze, the hesitation - it means something. It means too little, too late, but Timmy nods either way.


	2. NYC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy reunite. In the way they know how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have any schedule like this but I have been writing (on several projects) quite a bit so I feel good about putting more out there.
> 
> The song mentioned in this chapter can be found [here](https://open.spotify.com/track/4MzySNjSdv9ZegSD13IVNV?si=M3DxLrKLRh6BFl_zrGiRzw)

So what happens is that Armie flies out to New York. He’s supposed to go on a vacation with his family shortly after, but there had been no other way to schedule it in and Timmy had been pleading for him to come, so he could “show him around.” 

It’s not the first time they had seen each other since Call Me By Your Name wrapped but it was possibly the first time they met up just to hang out without anyone around and it scared Armie a little. Did their dynamic change? And if so would it be a good thing? He’s not completely unaware of the fact that they toed the edge in Crema many, many times. 

Technically whatever feelings they had should have evaporated. They were back in their normal lives, the magic of Crema seems like it belonged to a different life altogether and aside from stolen moments during promotion and facetime calls there had been hardly any time to see each other.

But when Armie rings the bell to Timmy’s apartment and the door opens it’s like not one day has passed. There are happiness and excitement but also an underlying tension. It’s like they’re bound together with a string and whenever they look into each other’s eyes, it tugs at them. 

“I’m so glad you could make it,” Timmy says and Armie isn’t sure how long they’ve been standing in the hallway, Timmy’s arms firmly locked around his neck.  
“So am I.” It had been a bit complicated but in the end, he had put his foot down. Yeah, it was a tight schedule but why shouldn’t he make the flights back and forth? Besides, this is important for him. 

“Come in. What do you want to do first?” Timmy asks as he steps aside to let him in. The apartment is a beautiful studio with big windows and white walls. That didn’t stop Timmy from plastering aggressively colourful posters all over the place. 

“Whatever my tour guide suggests,” Armie says. All the weight he had been carrying with him because of the conflict at home falls from him and he smiles at Timmy. The next few days belong only to them.  
Timmy grins back. “Hungry?”  
“Do you know me?”

That it is how they end up sitting in MUD COFFEE eating their first bagel of the day. There’s no New York without bagels after all. The table is small so their feet keep knocking together under the table. Armie tells a story about Harper that has Timmy spewing bread crumbs over the table in laughter. 

They visit Timmy’s parents and his grandmother, they meet Timmy’s friends in their old apartment that they had all shared. At the end of the day, which is almost literally the end of the day with the clock in the subway telling them it’s almost midnight, it’s good to be alone together in Timmy’s apartment. 

The lights of the surrounding buildings illuminate the room so they don’t bother with any extra lighting. That is until Armie spots the candles on the shelf next to the mattress that is Timmy’s hipster bed. Timmy gets two cans of beers out of the fridge, turning on some soft music before walking back and smiling when he sees Armie lighting the candles.

They hadn’t talked about the sleeping arrangement. Armie had known that Timmy only had that one thick mattress in his apartment and he hadn’t suggested getting a hotel room.  
“Cheers,” Timmy says as he offers Armie his can and they clink them together.  
“Cheers.” Armie answers. It was not the first beer of the evening but they weren’t even tipsy, unwilling to cloud their rare time together with intoxication.

Which is why, after the first sip, they put the cans on the nightstand that is basically just a small block of wood and kick off their shoes to settle on the mattress.  
“Today was good. I really loved it. Thank you.” Armie says with a happy little sigh, pulling Timmy against his side. He feels like he understands Timmy’s world much better now. He can put faces to the stories Timmy tells him and he can imagine him wandering these place whenever he wanted to.  
“It was a pleasure. You know I’ve wanted to do this for a long while.” Timmy happily turns into his chest. 

It’s peaceful and they’re quiet after talking all day. Armie watches Timmy watch the slight dance of the candle flames.  
It hadn’t been easy to come back and adjust to normal life again. There had been distressed calls and long text messages but in the end, the only thing that seemed to soothe them was each other’s presence. Winter had been hard, especially for Timmy which is why they had made plans to meet up often this summer.

“I’m filming in LA soon.” Timmy points out quietly. There’s no need to speak any louder.  
Armie knows about that already. “Found a place to stay yet?” He asks, knowing where Timmy is leading the conversation. They had been talking about this before but Timmy had always been too scared to intrude on the life of Armie’s family.

He can feel the movement of Timmy shaking his head against his chest. “I don’t want to.”  
“My offer still stands, Timmy. Come live with us. Live with me.” Armie pleads quietly.  
Timmy’s hand clenches into his shirt but he nods. “Okay.”  
Armie lets out a breath he didn't know he’d been holding in. It would mean they could spend weeks together, long nights and days off. His heart lurches in his chest.

The song changes as they go back to sitting in silence. The soft tunes of a guitar filled the apartment followed by a soft male voice.  
_I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you_

Timmy’s weight against him becomes heavier and he nudges him to lie down. They both kick their jeans off, so they’re only in their shirts and boxers. The cans of beer stand forgotten on the nightstand.  
They settle under the covers, face to face and Armie watches as Timmy’s eyelids droop, even as he fights for them to stay open.  
_No, I don't want to fall in love with you_

The voice of the singer carries through the room and the words touch something in Armie’s core.  
_What a wicked game you played to make me feel this way_  
_What a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you_

Suddenly Armie needs to be closer, trying to deny the truth the song is uttering. Timmy is happy enough to be wrapped into his arms and nuzzles his head under his chin. It’s hard to deny how right this feels, with their bodies resting against each other completely from head to toe and their legs tangled together. Only here, only like this everything feels right.  
_The world was on fire and no one could save me but you_

The thing is. Armie hadn’t even known how much was going wrong in his life until Timmy showed him that this is what it’s supposed to feel like. He leans down and presses a kiss to Timmy’s forehead.  
Forehead kisses are something they do. It’s platonic enough Armie had decided, but today he wants more. He bends even further to place another kiss between Timmy’s closed eyes. 

There had been a time perhaps when he could’ve said it’s for practice when he could have dared to take things further. But he had been a coward back then and he’s a coward now, a coward who kisses his best friend’s nose.

He can feel Timmy stretch up trying to get him to continue the journey down his face but Armie only brushes his lips against the corner of Timmy’s mouth before pulling back. 

“Remember the promise you made me.” Armie murmurs and when there’s a tear slipping out from under Timmy’s eyelid, he pulls him back into the crook of his neck.

“Sleep, Tim. I’ll be here when you wake up.” He says softly but his heart is aching and he’s not sure how he is going to resist being around him for an entire month again without caving. He lays awake for a long time to not miss out on a single second of being able to hold Timmy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr for aesthetics and additional info:  
> Main: [nicijones](https://nicijones.tumblr.com/)  
> Charmie: [charmie-inspiration](https://charmie-inspiration.tumblr.com/)


	3. LA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy comes to stay with Armie in LA but things don't exactly go to plan. Leading to some realisations...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to spoil you guys before I go away and enjoy myself on vacation. Also, I want you all to get chapter 4 because it's my favourite.

According to Greek myth, we once were beings with four arms and legs, and two heads until we were ripped apart, from now on forever destined to look for our missing half. 

It feels a lot like that was what happened after Crema. Something that had belonged together, had been torn apart and neither of them quite knows how to deal with it. So it’s hardly surprising that they jump on the chance when Timmy shoots in LA. 

_It’s so hard to find affordable apartments these days_ , Armie tells Liz. _We really have enough space and he’d have to go to work every day anyway and he could watch the kids in the evening._

It works. Eventually. But LA is not Crema and more often than not they are painfully aware of it. For one it’s not as calm and lazy and the food isn’t as good. There is no Luca to tell them to just stay a little longer and talk with him about just any topic under the sun.

And then there are the obligations that Armie has with his friends and family. It’s no longer just the two of them. It’s just different enough to make them hurt and similar enough to make them ache. 

So nothing is more precious than their stolen moments in the backyard when they volunteer to watch the kids together while Liz goes and meets up with friends or does some shopping.

Things take a turn for the real dramatic though when Armie gets a phone call while walking Archie. At first, he didn’t think much about it but when the voice at the other end rattles off the name of a hospital, he suddenly can’t breathe. His children are his first thought, Timmy is his second. 

“Mr Armie Hammer? You are listed as Timothée Chalamet’s current emergency contact.” So it is Timmy. He had worried about him lately but not dared to say anything, mostly because when he did Timmy brushed him off that it was important for his performance.

“Yes.” He gets out.  
“I’m sorry to inform you that he fainted on set this morning and was brought in with a severe case of hypothermia. We are currently treating him but he’s going to have to stay in the hospital for at least two nights so we can monitor him and make sure that there are no complications.”

Armie’s chest is constricting painfully and he can see black dots dancing over his vision. _He’s okay. Mostly._ He tries to reassure himself. To make sure he doesn’t suddenly faint, he resolves to sit down on the path, just in case, until his blood pressure went back to a somewhat normal level.

“So it would be great if you could come by with a few necessities that he could need during his stay. Is there any medication or allergy we might not be aware of?”  
Armie’s mind blanks instantly and he panics trying to remember if Timmy had ever mentioned something but came up with nothing. “No, I don’t-” He forces some air into his lungs. “No, but you should call his mom. She would know.” 

“We already did that but I like to make sure. He’s at an age where it might be embarrassing to tell some things to his mother.” The voice explains calmly.  
“Okay.” He answers, not really taking in what she said aside from the fact that Nicole already knew, so she would’ve made sure that they are taking care of Timmy in the best way possible.  
“I’ll come by with the- uh stuff.” He says and hears the voice at the other end mumble some niceties but doesn’t answer anymore and just ends the call.

Archie is there crawling into his lap and licking his face. He manages to pet him absentmindedly while he sinks back to lie on the ground taking deep breaths. He needs to get his shit together. Timmy needs him.

He had managed to pack somewhat reasonable for Timmy’s stay eventually. Maybe Nick had had a hand in it. Thankfully he had been able to come over and calm Armie down enough who was acting quite frantic at the moment and sat him in a uber rather than letting him drive himself. 

They let him through after a bit. Timmy is no longer in a critical state and asleep rather than unconscious. He shouldn’t disturb his rest though and not exhaust him more than necessary when he wakes up. 

He had tried to steel himself for the sight of Timmy in a hospital bed but it still crushes him. He looks incredibly small and pale. There was an IV hooked up to his arm to get some nutrients in his body and warm him up from the inside, the nurse explains.   
Armie nods, not being able to take his eyes off Timmy. 

“You can put his stuff in the wardrobe.” A nurse suggests before leaving him alone.   
Armie resolves that it’s the best thing. He gets to turn his back on the horrific sight for a moment while he puts Timmy’s shirts and pants and underwear away. He had put a sweater of his own among the things as well. Timmy has always pestered Armie to give it to him when he didn’t want it anymore.

The truth is Armie doesn’t give a fuck about the sweater as long as he had Timmy. When he’s done, he takes a deep breath and closes the doors of the wardrobe. Again, he tries to prepare himself for the sight of Timmy but it doesn’t help. 

He sits down on the chair next to the bed. Timmy looks so fragile at the moment that he’s afraid to even touch him, in fear that he might fall apart. 

He doesn’t notice that he started to cry until he feels the warm wetness on his cheeks. It’s hard to grasp this overwhelming fear that grips him when he sees him like this. Just because Timmy had become a constant in his life and he couldn’t imagine a life without carrying him in his heart, doesn’t mean he can’t lose him. 

We are so incredibly fragile, spending our days like getting the ever same questions by interviewers is really an issue. Like we aren’t just an accumulation of cells shoved together by probability and random luck. The days waste away while we convince ourselves that we can’t have what we want, that we can’t be happy because of reason x, y, z… But in the end, isn’t it so simple? Armie thinks looking down at Timmy now. Hold dearest what you love the most and make sure that they know it. Isn’t that all that could save them on this spinning ball of dirt and water that is inevitably going to be destroyed?

He reaches out and takes Timmy’s hand in his own, cradling it between both of his and hoping that Timmy knows that he’s there and that he’s never ever going to leave him alone. No matter what.   
Another tear slips out and lands on Timmy’s hand. Armie brushes it away, before pressing a kiss to the spot. 

“Don’t leave me alone.” He whispers. “There’s no me without you anymore.” He confesses quietly.  
Timmy’s hand twitches in his grip and it may be just random twitch of muscle but right now it feels like reassurance. 

Armie must’ve fallen asleep at some point, the exhaust of the panic getting the better of him because he starts from sleep when there’s movement below his head. He blinks his eyes open to find Timmy still too pale and too thin but looking at him now, face stricken. 

Armie sits up quickly. “Hey.” He croaks out, his voice still rough from sleep.   
Timmy’s eyes immediately fill with tears and even if Armie is not sure why he quickly moves forward to take him into his arms as best as possible. “Ssssh. It’s okay. I’m here. It’s gonna be alright now.” He mumbles. 

He can feel Timmy gripping his shirt, his nails digging into his back as hard as they can. Armie accepts it just as he would accept anything right now that would make Timmy feel better. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He hears him mumble.   
“Hey. Ssssh. There’s nothing to apologise for.” Armie assures him softly. 

“No, I’m sorry for what I did to you.” Timmy protests, voice small even as his breathing calms slowly. “You shouldn’t have to- please leave. There are so many things that you should focus on that are more important. I don’t want you wasting your time with me.” 

Armie’s mouth sets into a thin line, remembering the confessions he’d been so confident to voice earlier. But he can’t say them now. Especially not with what he made Timmy promise in Crema last year. 

“Are you still feeling cold?” He asks instead not being able to disagree without revealing too much.   
Timmy nods before he freezes, probably realising that it would make Armie worry even more. But Armie just stands up and gets the sweater out. 

They end up having to drag the sweater over his feet first so that the IV doesn’t get jostled too much. When they’re done Armie rubs his arms and upper body to produce some heat by friction. 

“I was so dumb,” Timmy admits quietly while he lets Armie manhandle him obediently. “But I was so in the scene. I thought if I could just push a little harder I could do it.”

Armie lets out a breath. He had feared that he would say that when he wakes up. You can’t really criticise his enthusiasm. It’s what you need to be exceptional at this craft. “I know, Timmy. You didn’t mean to.” Again he thinks of his words earlier and he almost says them but thinks that would be like manipulation. “Just be careful next time.”  
“O-oh- okay.” 

Timmy is still shivering slightly and Armie’s forehead furrows in worry.   
“Armie. Would you mind-?” The rosy blush is a stark contrast to the white of the pillow. He pulls back the covers slightly to invite him in.   
Armie doesn’t contemplate it for long and just slips in, drawing Timmy close to transfer as much body heat as possible. 

They lay in silence for a long while until Armie is convinced that Timmy must’ve fallen asleep and he sinks a bit deeper into the sheets. His hand that had been idly combing through Timmy’s hair wanders down to trace the features of his face: the cheekbones that are way too prominent, his sunken cheeks and chapped lips.

“I was so scared.” He admits quietly. “I still am. I’m scared shitless. And the fact that I am scares me even more.” Timmy lets out a shuddering breath, the warm air hitting Armie’s palm. 

“I pretend that making that movie didn’t shatter me but it did. I’m staggering through life.” It’s almost easy to admit those shattering truths now.   
“You’re the only thing that keeps me right. And if I lost you… I don’t think it would end well.” He leans in and brushes a kiss against his forehead feeling Timmy’s fingers tighten in his shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr for aesthetics and additional info:  
> Main: [nicijones](https://nicijones.tumblr.com/)  
> Charmie: [charmie-inspiration](https://charmie-inspiration.tumblr.com/)


	4. Montreal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy visits Armie while he's shooting OTBOS. As best friends do...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, prepare for a little break after this chapter. But I wanted you to have this. It's my favourite chapter so I hope you enjoy it, too.
> 
> I listened to Futile Devices while writing and editing to get into the full melancholic mood. So feel free to do the same while reading.

Armie does a silly whooping sound when he places the plate in front of Timmy.   
“Cordon bleu alla Marty Ginsburg.” He says with fanfare in his tone.  
“Let’s see if it can keep up with cordon bleu alla Armie Hammer,” Timmy says and smiles at Armie over his shoulder.  
Armie smiles and touches his shoulder in a quiet thanks. Timmy would always find small ways to compliment him in an almost “by-the-way” manner.

Armie moves to his chair at the head of the table, next to Timmy, and takes off the apron before picking up his wine glass. “I would like to thank all of you for coming. Timmy could tell you how I love hosting BBQs for my friends or even just my family back in LA.” He smiles at Timmy who blushes slightly. He nods. 

“So this really was just an excuse. I have to say that I am not as great as Luca Guadagnino when it comes to hosting dinner parties. He was just- I don’t know. He ordered tortelli cremaschi for all of us but halfway through actually eating dinner we would hit a topic where he was like, ‘Oh that is portrayed perfectly in that movie. Have you seen it?’” Everyone chuckled good-naturedly at Armie’s attempt at an Italian accent. 

“I have seen a lot of movies but Luca’s like a genius so I shake my head and he goes, ‘I have to show you.’ And we’d end up migrating into the living room and watching the same scene over and over, taking it apart piece by piece.” There’s a warm feeling coursing through Armie at the thought of it and he looks over to Timmy to see his feelings mirrored on his face. A sense of nostalgia and happiness.

“I can only recommend you to visit that region sometime if you enjoy good food. I know Timmy prefers Speranza where they would serve you these _huge_ plates. The food is fantastic don’t get me wrong.” Armie quickly adds.  
“I was about to slap you!” Timmy interjects and they earn a round of chuckles.

“See that’s how he treats me.” Armie teases. “Anyway, I got the recommendation to check out this restaurant called _Trattoria Via Vai_ and-”  
“You moved there,” Timmy interjects again. “Never showed up again that bastard.” He grins up at Armie innocently who pretends to be annoyed. The others are clearly amused by their antics.

“That is not true! I _did_ come back.” Armie disagrees with much emphasis.   
“At like 4 in the morning. He woke me up and I had piano lessons in the morning.” Only after having said it Timmy realised his slip-up. He had been sleeping in Armie’s bed because they had had a fight earlier that day - the whole reason Armie went off alone to get dinner in the first place - and he had wanted to resolve it. However since Armie didn’t show up he crawled into his bed, deciding to take a little nap, only to be woken by Armie crawling in beside him and wrapping his arms around him.

“At 10 in the morning, princess.” Armie shoots back, not pausing at Timmy’s slip up.  
Timmy huffs and crosses his arms in front of his chest, pretending to be pouting. For a moment Armie’s gaze gets caught on the pink of his lips.

“Either way!” Armie turns back to the other guests, remembering they could witness their every movement. “Enjoy your meal and the time.” He lifts his glass and everyone except Timmy follows along. 

Armie sits down and soon the clinking of the cutlery against the plates and the chatter between the cast and crew members that Armie has invited fill the room.  
He kicks Timmy under the table who looks at him and pushes his bottom lip out. 

“So you’re pouting,” Armie says.   
Timmy sticks his tongue out.  
“Childish.” He grins as he says it because that’s partly why they work. They could be silly together. He cuts into his cordon bleu and picks up a piece with his fork offering it to Timmy. “I promise it is good.” He adds.  
Timmy squints at him but leans forward and takes the piece off his fork carefully before chewing it slowly. Their gazes meet and it’s like reality crumbles a little. 

Suddenly they’re not in Montreal anymore but in Crema where no one batted an eyelash at them and their easy physicality. Where it was _ArmieAndTimmy_ and _TimmyAndArmie_. In the end, perhaps, it was what they would always think back to and it would have their heart racing like now, it would have their pupils dilated like now and their skin aching to touch the other. Like now. 

“So what do you think?” Felicity interrupts their stare by addressing Timmy who sputters for a second.  
“Oh uhm. It’s great yeah.” He forces a smile on his face before clearing his throat and picking up his cutlery.

Armie stares at him for a moment and wonders whether he was jealous. If he knew that kissing Felicity would never feel the same as kissing him. That she could not and did not even want to replace him. He decides to tell him that later. Luca had said he needs to speak about what he wants more clearly and he trusts his advice.

Armie also starts eating but it isn’t until he hears Timmy say softly, “It’s really good. But I like Armie Hammer more,” that a smile settles on his face. Armie looks up and sees him smiling shyly back at him. It makes his heart thump and jump.

After everyone has eaten, someone suggests going dancing. Apparently, there’s a club not too far away and they want to party instead of ending the evening with a quiet talk over a glass of wine. 

Armie bows out immediately. He’s neither drunk enough nor has he the desire to leave his flat when it seems to be basking in Timmy’s presence with his bag in the bedroom, his toothbrush next to Armie’s and his sneakers lining almost the entire hallway. He had unpacked immediately after arriving and made this place look like he’d been living there for the past months. It filled Armie with a warm sense of contentment. 

“You can go with them.” He offers to Timmy because it’s a lot that he even made the journey to Montréal for just a weekend. He doesn’t want to hold him back from having fun and he might make some important connections in the business.

Timmy shakes his head and turns into Armie’s body, grasping the back of his t-shirt. “No. I want to stay. I’m here because of you.” He says quietly so the others don’t hear it. They are all gathered in the hallway, getting dressed and chatting among themselves.

Armie bites his lip to keep in all his feelings that want to burst out of him. Felicity walks over to them. “Thanks for dinner, Armie. It was amazing.” She shakes his hand. “Timmy do you want to come with us? You don’t have to hang around with the old man.” She teases him.  
“I’d choose this old man every day.” Timmy grins proudly and fails to catch the look on Felicity’s face when she looks back at Armie who swallows.  
“Thanks for coming.”   
They shake hands with everyone and send them off to have a fun evening. 

When the door closes Armie turns to Timmy. “There’s tiramisu in the fridge.” Armie draws his eyebrows up in a challenge.   
Timmy doesn’t even hesitate but starts to race to the fridge right away. It is one of the reasons Armie loves him. By the time he enters the kitchen Timmy has already peeled off the plastic wrap and stuck his finger into the cream. He looks just a bit guilty. 

Armie shakes his head fondly and walks over, scooping up some cream on his finger himself. There’s a certain beauty in eating food with your fingers while the chaos of creating the perfect meal still exists all around you. Bowls and knives, pots and pans litter the counters, take up space on the stove and pile in the sink.

It doesn’t interrupt their contentment though. They’re at home at this moment and Armie finally gives in to his instinct that he had suppressed all evening. Coming up to Timmy, he wraps his arms around him. It’s only a bit of their skin touching but it soothes him instantly. 

Timmy scoops some more cream up and licks it off his finger before sighing and letting his head sink against Armie’s chest.   
“I like this.” He mumbles eyes closed.

Armie hums in answer stroking his bicep lightly. “Me, too. I’m so glad you came.”   
Timmy turns further into Armie’s embrace and wraps his arms around his neck, hiding his face in his shirt. 

Despite them doing a ton of press together all the time Armie feels like they are missing each other. He _misses_ Timmy as soon as he leaves the room and perhaps it’s time to address the fact that it’s not letting up, not fading away and it has been one and a half year now. They only seem to miss each other more and more and whenever he does end up seeing Timmy, it gets harder and harder to reign himself in, to remember that while they had an exceptionally physical friendship, they are certain things he can’t do. Because of his conscience and because it would hurt Timmy. 

He knows that if he stays another second in the embrace he’s going to cave, so he pulls back, gently taking a hold of Timmy’s arms. “I need to clean up. Feel free to put on some Netflix.”   
Timmy gives him the look of a kicked puppy before turning away and getting Kid Cudi blasting on Armie’s speaker. 

Armie had started to scrub everything in the sink and looks up in surprise when Timmy starts bringing in the dishes from the living room.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Timmy tells him and Armie swallows. Right. They are in this together, too. Even if it’s just cleaning duty. He looks down and continues to scrub the pan furiously, denying the way his vision blurs slightly and his chest tightens.

It’s just that- Timmy is so perfect and loving and he doesn’t even realise it. He doesn’t even know what it means to Armie to have him in his life. _Use your words, Armie. Don’t always try to hide how you feel._ He hears Luca’s voice in his head.

So when Timmy walks into the room again he stalks over, his hands still dripping with soapy water, and wraps his arms around Timmy tightly, not caring about getting his clothes wet. “Thank you.” The tears are still audible in his voice.

Timmy is stiff for a moment, surprised probably, but then reciprocates the hug. “What for?” He asks.  
“Just- you.” Armie answers and he knows this is not really using his words so he tries again. “For always knowing what I need, for always being there for me no questions asked, for your adoration that I really don’t deserve.” Instances of Timmy being better than any human being could deserve float through Armie’s mind and he can feel even more tears well up. 

“Hey, hey,” Timmy says knowing, _of course,_ that Armie is about to crumble. “It’s okay. I’m just- me?” He tries to reassure him but it doesn’t really help. “Look, Armie. You matter a great deal to me. A great fucking deal but don’t think too hard about it. Just say _jump_ and I’ll ask _how high_?” 

Armie doesn’t find that reassuring at all. He knows he needs to hear it if Timmy is saying it but the problem is, he can’t stop thinking about how much Timmy means to him and wonder how much he might mean to Timmy. Mostly though, he wants to kiss Timmy.

He doesn’t know why. Well, technically he knows _why_ but he doesn’t know why _kissing_ which has become mundane in his marriage. Timmy and he did kiss each other’s cheeks, foreheads all the time. But there’s something about kissing Timmy’s lips that he craves. It’s more than a physical connection.

He also knows that he shouldn’t- No, he _can’t_. But then he thinks about all the instances they had kissed. Two weeks after Armie had arrived, Luca had led them behind the villa and let them kiss for the first time. 

At that point, Armie had already learned to love Timmy. He could read his expressions, he knew his favourite order at the restaurant and he could locate his ticklish spots with ease. But at that moment he learned to desire him. Perhaps through the eyes of Oliver first but then with his whole body. 

Now, he wishes for another excuse to taste him again.   
What he does, though, is shaking his head. “Don’t say that. We are equals.” Armie reminds him.

Timmy squeezes him before pushing him an arm's length away. “Don’t pretend you wouldn’t do the same. I remember LA.” He points out quietly and gently but it takes nothing from the sharp blow to Armie’s chest. 

Of course, Timmy knows that Armie loves him. Then again maybe there has never been a doubt about that. 

“Come on, let’s get this mess cleaned up.” Timmy prompts him and they stand in silence while Armie washes and Timmy dries.

Once they’re done it’s like nothing has ever happened. Armie swats Timmy’s ass with the towel when he steals the tiramisu out of the fridge again and then chases him back into the living room.

Timmy ends up giggling on the couch, clutching the bowl to his chest, while Armie advances on him, only to stick his fingers in the cream and pointedly licking it off.

Timmy dissolves into a fit of giggles and tries to shove him away when he does it again. “Stop! Stop, that’s my prey!” He complains and when Armie triumphantly licks his finger again, Timmy scoops some cream up and smears it on his face. 

Armie blinks in surprise for a moment while Timmy giggles at his expression. “Oh, just you wait!” He threatens and retaliates.

A little bit later both of their faces are covered and they’re breathless from laughing. The bowl lay upside down a few feet away from them and they were sprawled on the floor. They had made another mess. 

Armie turns his head to look at Timmy and plucks a bit from his nose and shoves it into his mouth. “Mmmmh. Compliments to the kitchen.” He mocks with a grin and Timmy rolls his eyes but reaches out to swipe some cream from his eyebrow and sticks his thumb into his mouth respectively.

“Mmmh. Not bad.” He agrees and Armie is thrown through time and space again but instead of disorientated he feels settled with Timmy at his side as his anchor. His eyes dance over his face, drink in the sight of his dirty face, the bit of cream sticking in his hair and the way his eyes shine just as bright as they used to.

“Not bad at all.” He agrees and breathing seems to get harder somehow. Like there’s not enough air between them. He feels heady and wonders whether it’s the sight of Timmy here or the sight of Timmy smeared with his tiramisu or if it’s just him being Timmy. He finds himself unable to look away; again. There seems to be just Timmy and the way Armie can feel his hand settle on Timmy’s neck, even though he has no idea how it got there and the way he seems to come closer or perhaps that is Armie.

And then he can taste tiramisu and licks to uncover the red lips he remembers so well and then licks into his mouth to chase the taste he remembers. There’s a sharp intake of breath from either of them but otherwise, it’s completely quiet, making the wet sounds of their lips moving almost obscene.

It feels as natural as breathing to have this, to rediscover the pleasure of holding and kissing Timmy had brought him. He had no idea it would ever happen, had always thought that this would be something he could only experience again in his memories. Like it was a once in a lifetime experience. 

But somehow it seems fitting for it to happen when they’re both covered in the aftermath of their latest tussle and when one of them had gone out of their way to meet the other again for just a few days.

He can feel Timmy’s arm wind around his neck as they slowly tip back so Timmy is lying on the floor and Armie half on top of him. 

They are reluctant to break their kiss. It’s like they want to make up for time lost right away like they don’t want to waste another second by doing anything else. Like breathing. So when they do move apart, it’s slow and Armie kisses his top lip, his bottom lip and both corners of his mouth before pulling back far enough to watch Timmy’s eyes flutter open.

_What now?_

The question hangs between them and for awhile they seem to be unwilling to quite face it yet. Armie wonders what Timmy is thinking. He knows he doesn’t want to stop and he knows he can’t continue. 

But he has always known that he loves Timmy. He just hasn’t been sure to what extent. Now that he knows, now that he’s lying here and looking at Timmy, the certainty that it would always be him settles in his bones. He just isn’t sure what that means yet.  
“Let’s get cleaned up.” He suggests and stands up.

They sleep entangled in Armie’s bed at night before Timmy leaves again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr for aesthetics and additional info:  
> Main: [nicijones](https://nicijones.tumblr.com/)  
> Charmie: [charmie-inspiration](https://charmie-inspiration.tumblr.com/)


	5. Rome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rome sees one of them being nominated for the Academy Awards. The odds turned against the other one. Here's how that looks like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back from my two-week-long trip! I lived quite a couple of adventures. But now I am back. For awhile. Let's see how much I can put out in this time.

“No, I don’t want to hear it! Just leave me the fuck alone!” Armie yells and refills his glass. He doesn’t even bother with ice since it isn’t going to be in the glass long enough either way. He knocks it back in one go.

“Armie, _please_. Let me in.” It’s Timmy’s soft voice and out of all of them, he is the only one who he can’t be angry with. Armie sways on his feet and tries to make a decision. He’s shitfaced and there’s a broken chair in one corner. He’s a mess and he had never wanted for Timmy to see him that low. Had hoped there would never be a reason again for him to be here. 

“Come on, Armie. Let me help you. It’s you and me, remember?” Timmy insists.  
And he is right. He is always right. Armie opens the door for him and sways forward when Timmy steps through the door. Timmy looks perfect like always and Armie wants to lose himself in the contrast of his dark curls and pale skin. 

“Hey, let’s sit down,” Timmy suggests gently and closes the door. His hands are gentle and guiding and Armie wants them on his skin but when reaches to unzip his jacket, it’s too complicated, so lets himself fall back on the couch.

“Damn, did you drink all of that?” Timmy asks, closing the bottle of whiskey and putting it away again.  
Armie grunts in disagreement from the couch. He hadn’t been done yet. 

“Leave me alone, Timmy. It sucks to be around me.”  
Timmy doesn’t answer just wanders around the suite and Armie wonders if he dozed off because then he’s suddenly standing in front of him with a glass of water.  
“Drink.” He says when Armie frowns at him.  
“I don’t want to drink water!” Armie jumps up and for a moment everything around him is swaying. “I want-!”

There’s a hand on his bicep. “What do you want?” Timmy asks patiently and Armie knows that the only answer to that question has been _you_ for awhile now.  
“No, Armie, you’re drunk-”

It takes him a moment to understand he said it out loud. “So what? Do you think that’s going to change when I’m sober? Do you think,” he gestures, almost knocking the glass out of Timmy’s grip. “That everything is gonna be peachy again when I sleep it off? There is so much foul in this world and in my life especially, Timmy.” He meets his gaze. “Nothing is ever gonna fix that but you’re about the best thing that happened to me and sue me for trying to hold onto that.” 

“It’s not that. You have to believe me-” Timmy starts to say but Armie is so sick of this. Of all the excuses, of all the lies he told himself. He takes the glass out of Timmy’s hand and throws it against the wall. It shatters leaving a wet spot on the tapestry.  
“That’s my life.” Armie points at the mess with a shaky finger.

“You’re not alone in this.” Timmy is beginning to put his foot down and Armie knows whatever he has to say, he won’t like to hear it but he would need to. “Who says the glass can’t be mended? That there’s no glue being able to hold it together? No new water to fill it?” Timmy says challengingly.

 _I do_ , Armie thinks. _It’s all in my head which is why I need you._  
Instead of giving Timmy an answer, he reaches up to grab a handful of his hair and pulls Timmy in. He _needs_ him. More than ever before, perhaps. Their lips meet and it’s instantly completely different from Montreal. This is need and hunger and want compressed into one kiss.

They’re not gentle with their teeth and soon Armie tastes iron in his mouth. Timmy’s nails are scraping his sides through his clothes. They’re clawing at each other, tearing into each other in a desperate attempt to get closer. Maybe if they tear each other open, they could crawl inside and never have to leave again.

“Tim.” Armie gasps into his mouth and pushes him forward towards the bed. “Want you. Fuck.” He bows down to reach his neck where he sucks at the pale skin, prompting Timmy to moan loudly.

“Armie, no. No, I want you sober. Stop, stop.” Timmy pulls at his hair until Armie relents and pulls back. “Please. Not like that.”  
Armie sighs but nods. Timmy is right. He wants to do this right. This is not just anyone. This is **it**.

“Okay, okay.” He agrees. He needs to calm down. Riled up from anger and arousal is no way to talk to Timmy. He draws in a deep breath, holds it for a moment, before letting it out again.

“Let’s sit down,” Timmy suggests and takes his hand, gently stirring him to the bed. “What brought this on?” He gestures around the room. “You were okay when we checked in. Not great but not _this_.”

Armie takes another deliberate breath before he can articulate it. “Evelyn called. She told me Sony has told her that they pushed for Michael. Because his speech is so important and was the real reason why the movie resonated with so many people.” 

Instead of his fist starting to shake again like it did when he got the message there’s the sharp sting of tears in his eyes. “I just- I don’t” He starts curling into himself instinctively trying to hide the tears.

“Hey, hey,” Timmy says softly and wraps his arms around him, pulling him into his secure embrace. Resting his chin on Armie’s neck, he strokes his back soothingly, while he sobs into his chest. “You know that’s not true. You know that’s not true at all.” He whispers.

Logically, he knows Timmy is right but he’s so prone to fall for these traps.  
“There would never be my Elio without your Oliver.” Armie feels dumb that Timmy has to tell him that again. “What you did is great, invaluable. I know how hard it was for you and how magnificent the acting is that went into this.” It’s not the first time that Timmy has told him this but it’s the first time Armie forces himself to listen.

“But the academy? The awards? They don’t nominate the best actor or actress. They’re _political_. You have to understand while they could potentially give you opportunities they’re not the ones judging how good your performance was. That are the people who cried while watching you struggle to accept your feelings for Elio. That are the people who went and came out to their parents or friends because you managed to give them hope. That it doesn’t have to be like this. And it’s everyone who worked on this movie and who saw you strip yourself of all the safeties you usually surround yourself with. They know that what you did is nothing short of groundbreaking. And I’m going to beat everyone up who says otherwise.”

It’s too much. Armie is unable to articulate any kind of response so he just sits there sobbing and wonders how he deserves this and how he could ever say his life is broken when it has Timmy in it. 

Silence seems to be fine with Timmy since he waits patiently, not stopping his soothing movements. 

“Thank you,” is the first thing Armie can bring himself to say. “Thank you.”  
“Not for this,” Timmy assures him.  
“I’m not taking it back.” Armie sniffles, feeling more put together already. “I don’t care what you think. But I needed to hear this quite badly. So, thank you.” 

Timmy smiles and leans forward, slowly giving him plenty of time to back out before he seals their lips in one short kiss. “Let’s sleep this off. We’ll have interviews tomorrow.” He suggests. 

Armie takes a breath. He’s still tired of it and less than eager to be confronted with the questions about his snub that would come inevitably. “Okay.” He agrees, wanting to pull Timmy on top of him like a blanket since nothing would feel safer. But- “What about Liz?” He asks.  
“Took another room. Probably already asleep.” Timmy assures him as he unfolds and climbs off the bed. 

Armie rubs his face that feels stiff from the tear stains. “I don’t know what else I would have done if you hadn’t been here.” He admits. Timmy smiles at him and hands him another glass of water. “It’s me and you. There’s no need for you to even think about another possibility where you try to swallow this without help, okay?” He makes clear.  
Armie nods and drains the glass. 

“Can I borrow some clothes? I don’t wanna go back.” Timmy admits.  
“Everything is still packed up. Pick whatever. I can still wear it after.” Armie explains and gets up to refill his glass with water. 

Armie brushes his teeth and strips down to shirt and boxers before he slips under the blanket where Timmy is wrapped into one of his oversized shirts, a shy grin on his lips. This is good, Armie reminds himself. This is what it’s really about. He kills the lights before leaning down and searching for Timmy’s lips in the dark. 

The next morning they’re both rumbled. Their bodies are still confused from the time change and yesterday had been a whole lot of ups and downs. But Armie wakes with Timmy in his arms, his soft breathing hitting his neck and his expression completely peaceful. 

The whole world is beginning to reach for him with greedy fingers, trying to taint him, so it feels magical to have him here with the knowledge that he wants to be nowhere else. His Timmy, his star, his light of his life. 

Timmy grumbles and a frown forms on his face as the alarm on Armie’s phone goes off again.  
“Hey, oscar nominee. Time to get up and grant thy presence to the peasants.” Armie teases. He still feels bitter about what happened but Timmy is right. At the end, who cares about the awards? They’re not the reason he gets up in the morning. 

“Asshole.” Timmy mumbles.  
“Oi, do you kiss your mother with that foul mouth?” Armie continued. There is a special beauty in seeing this unconstrained, totally unaltered Timmy. 

He makes a disagreeing noise at the back of his throat. “Just you.” Timmy points out and leans up to brush a kiss to his lips. Armie loses himself in it for as long as it lasts.  
“I need to shower. No time to entertain you.” Timmy explains as he rolls away and sticks his naked legs out from the warm covers. 

"Who said that couldn’t overlap?” Armie asks with a grin as he watches Timmy, still a bit slow and blinking confusedly.  
“I guess.” He says but Armie can tell he hasn’t fully processed what Armie meant. 

He watches as Timmy walks over to where he had left his necessities yesterday and picks up a hair tie. He uses both of his hands to rule his curls in as best as possible before tying them together. It’s a fascinating process to watch. 

When Timmy pads into the bathroom Armie follows him though.  
“Wait, are you joining me?” Timmy says, looking a lot more awake suddenly.  
“Problem?” Armie asks, shirt already pulled over his head and hanging on his arms. 

“Uh no.” Armie wants to kiss the blush spreading down to his chest so that’s what he does.  
“That’s good because I wanna thank you for yesterday. I know I don’t have to but I want to.” Armie kisses his collarbone, neck, and jawline. “Come on.” 

They undress quickly and hop under the warm spray. Thankfully the cubicle is big enough to have space for both of them. As soon as the glass door is slid shut behind them Armie leans down and kisses him. 

For a long time, nothing else happens, just the water beating down on them and their lips meeting in the middle. Kiss by kiss, Armie seems to heal a bit more. To give something back he reaches for the shower gel and starts to clean Timmy himself. 

They end up missing breakfast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr for aesthetics and additional info:  
> Main: [nicijones](https://nicijones.tumblr.com/)  
> Charmie: [charmie-inspiration](https://charmie-inspiration.tumblr.com/)


	6. Crema

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the end of things, there is Crema. Just as it was at the beginning of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look this is why I don't publish things before I finish them. That's all, that's the apology.

At the end of things, there is Crema. Just as it was at the beginning of things. It’s strange to be back. Different. The place has changed. Nobody particularly cared when they were shooting the movie but now they get instantly recognised. A lot of fans being in town for the event doesn’t exactly help.

But Timmy and Armie aren’t the same as well. They had both changed and matured since they first set foot into this town. Their fingers now know what it’s like to touch without the cameras watching, their lips have explored places they hadn’t been before. In many ways, this last Europe leg of their press tour had turned into a honeymoon.

But somehow being back here and knowing it’s the last stop, serves as a cold shower. They don’t have to tell Luca, of course. All it takes is one long look for him. Sometimes, Armie thinks that he just pretends to know more about you than you do yourself but he isn’t exactly keen on proving that theory. So far Luca has been quite on point.

Timmy avoids him. It stings the most perhaps. But he understands it. While Timmy is out on a walk on his own, Armie sits down with Luca. He hadn’t intended to but of course, it couldn’t have gone any other way. In hindsight, Luca probably had encouraged Liz to check out the shops she had always loved in town. 

They settle on the couch and Luca forces him to drink juice. Armie hates it when he does that and he is right. It wouldn’t pay off to be tipsy. People would notice. That fucker doesn’t even have to say anything. He just sits there on the couch next to Armie and waits.  
“I don’t know what to do, Luca,” Armie confesses eventually.

Luca hums. “It might be helpful to figure out what you really want. And then accept the consequences for it if you really want it.” Neither of them spells out what they are talking about. Armie doubts Liz hasn’t caught on. It has been going on for so long now. And she knows him, there is no way of denying that.

“I love him. I made him promise that he wouldn’t fall in love with me but here I am.” Armie mutters and rubs his face.  
“And do you think he feels the same?” Luca asks patiently, not sounding surprised at anything Armie says.  
“I mean, I hope so.” Armie feels his cheeks heat up upon remembering the nights they had traded the past week. They had stolen every moment they could. He remembers pushing Timmy’s curls back to kiss his flushed cheeks, remembers Timmy sleepily turning into his body to fall asleep pressed against him, he remembers the way he had looked beautifully messed up when Armie had shoved him against the wall in his room and gone down to suck him off.

“Love isn’t something you can control. If it was possible, there wouldn’t be so much art revolving around it. What you are experiencing is something unique and despite everything, you should be grateful to have it in your life. Don’t ever wish for it to never have happened.” Armie makes himself listen, really listen to what Luca is saying. He trusts him.  
“I wouldn’t.” He promises. “Never.”

Of course, that is when the door to the apartment opens and they hear someone taking their coat off.   
Timmy steps into the doorway a moment later. He looks a little sad and unhappy. Armie knows that expression, he had also worn it after walking through the town earlier.  
Nonetheless, just the sight of him makes Armie’s heart squeeze. He may never be able to return to their magical summer but Timmy would be there. If he wanted him to, if he was brave enough to reach out and hold him. 

Like on a command Luca gets up. “Let me get you something to drink, Timmy.” He says and leaves them.  
Armie swallows. They need to talk about this now, he realises. But he’s afraid of just how much Timmy means to him. Admitting that had made it even more real.

“Hey.” Timmy looks as unsure as Armie feels, standing in the doorway and looking around the room. Unlike Armie, he’d had the courage to break the silence though.  
“Hey. Why don’t you… uhm sit down.” Armie suggests and pats the spot next to him. 

Timmy nods and folds himself into the couch. He draws his legs up and wraps his arms around them. The weight of the situation hangs over them, unspoken.   
How many ways are there to fuck this up? How many parallel universes existed where Armie just didn’t make it, didn’t find the right words, made Timmy turn and walk away? And who the hell guarantees him that this is the world where he gets to have him?  
Either way, he owes both of them to try. 

“Tim-“ He starts but then hesitates again.  
“You want to talk to me about our future.” Timmy has turned his head, is now resting the side of his face on the top of his knees.   
Armie nods.  
“Is there one?” His voice is so quiet Armie almost doesn’t hear it. Maybe he’s just as scared as I am, Armie thinks.

“Of course there is. Timmy, you will always have a place in my future.” Armie assures him because it is true. A life without Timmy in it doesn’t make any sense.  
“But who do I get to play? Your best friend? Your colleague? Your co-star from that movie all that years ago?”

Armie hesitates. “Is that what you want?” After all, this is about both of them. And about what they want.  
“No. No, that’s not what I want. And I need you to be okay with this.” Although Timmy doesn’t raise his voice in the slightest, there’s steel in it. Underneath, he hides a layer of strength, one that Armie would love to uncover.

“Yes, it’s okay with me.”   
Timmy lets out a deep breath and relaxes visibly. “What would you like to be?” Armie asks carefully, holding his breath.

Timmy meets his gaze then looks away again. Armie waits, he knows Timmy will say it if he is given enough time. After a moment, he looks back at Armie, determination written all over his face. “I want to be your boyfriend, Armie. Officially.” He makes clear.

Armie can’t help it. A smile forms on his face. Timmy wants to be his boyfriend. It sounds like something out of middle school but he doesn’t care. It meant a hell of a lot to them.  
“Yes, Timmy, I would like you to be my boyfriend.” Armie’s grin is so broad now it hurts his cheeks. He has to look down at his hands, trying to keep his cool.

“You know what that means right?” Timmy asks and means divorce and the fight for custody with his kids and the judgement of the public. 

“Do you?” Armie shoots back because Timmy is a rising star, his career had just begun. And Armie worries, Timmy shouldn’t give that up for him. Armie doesn’t deserve that and the cruel reality of the film industry isn’t as accepting of gay men especially when you can call him a homewrecker. 

Timmy hesitates, takes time to answer, think it through again but then he nods and his voice is clear. “Yes, yes, I do.”

“So do I.” Armie answers and then reaches out, like extending an olive branch and touches Timmy’s hand. It’s a promise that it starts right here, right now. That from now on they would try everything in their power to be together, to form that life together they had been dreaming about. 

Timmy turns into him, releasing his legs and entwining his fingers with Armie’s. For a moment they allow themselves to breathe. There’s an onslaught of emotions Armie feels and he’s glad to have Timmy here against his side and them both in a space where they feel undeniably safe.

Luca comes back with the drink he promised Timmy. Armie knows he had waited to give them space to talk and he’s grateful for it. In many ways, Luca is the father he had always wanted in his life. Like now when he sees them both curled together on his couch, he just smiles softly and places the glass of juice on the table next to Armie’s. 

But since he’s Luca he comes around the table and presses a fleeting kiss on both of their foreheads. “My boys.” He mutters and there’s so much emotion in his voice. Right here, right now, on this couch in a small Italian town Armie feels loved without compromises.

That is how he knows they’ll get through whatever life is going to throw at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr for aesthetics and additional info:  
> Main: [nicijones](https://nicijones.tumblr.com/)  
> Charmie: [charmie-inspiration](https://charmie-inspiration.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr for aesthetics and additional info:  
> Main: [nicijones](https://nicijones.tumblr.com/)  
> Charmie: [charmie-inspiration](https://charmie-inspiration.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Motivate me to get this final chapter done!


End file.
